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[title] => Pape, kad ja buden velik, tija bi bit - turist. Imat puno love, kupat se i ist oboritu ribu!
[alias] => pape-kad-ja-buden-velik-tija-bi-bit-turist-imat-puno-love-kupat-se-i-ist-lipe-bokune
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Tišina! Tišina. Otvaran ovi sastanak Mjesnoga odbora našega mista, s jednon tačkon dnevnega reda - da vidimo rezultate ovogodišnje turističke jematve, tija san reć sezone, da vidimo triba li šta minjat za drugu godinu. Rič ima presjednik odbora, barba Pave. Mala, ti piši! Ajde Pave, tvoj je mac…
Drugovi i drugarice…
Fermaj Pave, po Gospu, prošlo ti je to vrime, tako se više ne more govorit…
A šta ću, ako in rečen - poštovane dame i gospodo, misliće da ih zajebajen…
A reci in ono ka - dragi moj svitu…
Ajde dobro. Dragi moji mišćani, evo je pasa i ovi turistički stađun, pa je vrime da mi ka Mjesni odbor napravimo malu ka rekapituraciju – rekapula - re-ka-pi-tulaciju, vrag je odnija.
Šta ono govori prešidente, oli će opet kapitulacija?
Ma baba, to ti je jedna inventura, ono ka u butigu, šta je ko napravija ovu sezonu za se, a i za nas svih skupa zajedno.
Bravo mali. E, triba nan napravit tu inventuru, da vidimo šta je bilo dobro za naše misto, a šta ni bilo dobro, s naglaskon na ono šta je bilo dobro…
Živija govornik!
Evo ja ću prvi. Amo po redu, moramo središnjici dat izvještaj o poslovanju našega mista. Šta se tiče afitavanja soba, iz turističke zajednice govoridu da je cilo lito sve bilo krcato. To mi je drago čut.
Triba reć kako su ove godine boje kurili apartmani nego sobe. Lipo afitaš cilu kuću, jedan put na šetemanu prominiš lancune i Bog te veselija.
Je, lako je tebi iznajmit kuću kad imaš rezervu gori u Poje, u staru kuću.
A šta ti ne spavaš u svoju pojatu, oli u konobu? A-la, tija bi i novce i ovce.
Ma koje ovce, ma koga ti vriđaš, nemoj da ti ja dojden tamo.
Govorin ja, jopet su gospoda boje prošla. Sad je sve na botune, ovi iz Evrope priko tega vražjega interneta unaprid rezerviradu sobe i apartmane u Turističku agenciju. Ja jedva nađen kojega mladega s rusakon, više mi ni cimer fraj ne pomaže. E, di su ona lipa vrimena kad su bar Njemci znali šta je - cimer fraj. Đava in odnija i ti kompjutor, samo troši struju…
Barba prešidente, je li triba reć koliko je ovo lito ko okrenija ženski?
Ajde mulac, daću ti dvi po čunki…
Ja bi napomenija kako su se i dica ove godine lipo uklopila u ovu berbu. Vidija san po rivi, skoro kraj svake kolone, prodajedu - školjke. Lipo i’ složidu u koju škatulicu oli na šudar, sve složiveno ka u muzej. Brbavice, lakirke, kućice, lepeze, a bilo je i volak. I morski’ zvizda! I to crveni’!
Je, vidija san da prodajedu i periske, i još su i napisali da su zakonon zaštićene. Ali govoridu kako su i’ našli već krepane.
Jedan je mulac od pizdic napravija i ogrlicu, naniza i’ na komad špaga. I nudija i muškima, da to nosi sriću za mušku snagu.
Ja mislin kako posebno triba pofalit naše brodare, koliko su samo furešti pribacivali brodican, tamo-amo.
To je. Evo ja san cilo lito vozija goste na dnevno kupanje do Tihe vale i nazad. Potrošija san goriva ka da jeman kamijon.
Kako ja iman veći brod, ja san se orjentira na dnevne izlete, cili dan od zore do sumraka. Malo kupanja, usput vidit koju špilju i na kraju kod Mate na teracu na riblji obid. Samo oborita riba se traži. I jastozi, naravski. Ma, koji put in podvale kojega hlapa, ali se uz crno vino i ne vididu razliku. Kad nas u povratku uvati maeštralun, ionako sve to na kraju opet svrši u more.
A ja san svojon brodicon pravija đite oko cilega otoka, pa sve do Babine guzice, pokaza bi in onu špilju.
Kad smo već kod te ribe, onda su i naši ribari dobro prošli?
Da prošli, radile su tunje, mriže, puške, vrše, parangali, jastožere, a kad zafali ribe - frižideri.
Ajde ti Ive, reci pošteno, koliko si ovega štađuna napravija vina i rakije?
Nisan ja ništa napravija, nemoj vriđat, sve je to prirodno, nima ti kod mene paštroćavat.
Ma to se razumi, nego, koliko si tega učinija, proda?
A, od oni moji mali vinogradi, jedno deset tolitar crnega i ništo bilega. A rakije slabo, jedva trideset-četrdeset litar.
A biće bilo šta i prošeka, an?
E, to je moja špecjalna riceta, prošek se pravi ka u apoteku. Samo dvi tri male demejanice, to prodajen ka likariju…
Tebe sam Marine vidija da bereš masline, a koliko si uja uvatija ove godine?
Šta ja znan, biće, jednu, 500 litar.
I jesi li sve uspija prodat?
E, jesan, i to najviše oviman šta držidu konobe i restorane. A naj mi se više isplati ulit uje u male bočice pa prodavat fureštiman ka suvenir.
Jema Marin prav, ja san u male bočice najviše prodala uja o’ lavande i od zoromoda, oliti ružmarina. Dogodine ću pravit i med o’ ružmarina. A i med i čajeve od kaduje i vriska, sve ekološko, furešti su van ka ludi za sve šta je domaće i zdravo. Mali mi je već nacrta škartoce od karte za čajeve.
Znate šta, previše je bome tih plesnih terac uz manjativu i piće, ne moš zaspat do ujutro, A kad ujutro greš u crikvu, sama Sodoma i Gomora, svugdi ležidu mladi, kako se ono reće, partizani, ne, partijaneri, spavadu po tleju, razdrpani, zgužvani, ne jadan put i popišani.
Pape, kad ja buden velik, tija bi bit - turist. Imat puno love, šetat i gledat okolo, kupat se i ist lipe bokune, a oni oko tebe ti s gitaran pivadu narodne…
Mali, reka san ti, muči i uči!
A vi šjora Kate, jeste li vi šta doprinili našemu mistu i ovogodišnjoj berbi deviza?
Dašta san sinko! Izmolila san ja Slava ocu i Zdravo Marijo po tri puta na dan…
Ajde none, muči, to se ne računa…
A je li, a meni je don Vjeko reka da se računa…
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Tišina! Tišina. Otvaran ovi sastanak Mjesnoga odbora našega mista, s jednon tačkon dnevnega reda - da vidimo rezultate ovogodišnje turističke jematve, tija san reć sezone, da vidimo triba li šta minjat za drugu godinu. Rič ima presjednik odbora, barba Pave. Mala, ti piši! Ajde Pave, tvoj je mac…
Drugovi i drugarice…
Fermaj Pave, po Gospu, prošlo ti je to vrime, tako se više ne more govorit…
A šta ću, ako in rečen - poštovane dame i gospodo, misliće da ih zajebajen…
A reci in ono ka - dragi moj svitu…
Ajde dobro. Dragi moji mišćani, evo je pasa i ovi turistički stađun, pa je vrime da mi ka Mjesni odbor napravimo malu ka rekapituraciju – rekapula - re-ka-pi-tulaciju, vrag je odnija.
Šta ono govori prešidente, oli će opet kapitulacija?
Ma baba, to ti je jedna inventura, ono ka u butigu, šta je ko napravija ovu sezonu za se, a i za nas svih skupa zajedno.
Bravo mali. E, triba nan napravit tu inventuru, da vidimo šta je bilo dobro za naše misto, a šta ni bilo dobro, s naglaskon na ono šta je bilo dobro…
Živija govornik!
Evo ja ću prvi. Amo po redu, moramo središnjici dat izvještaj o poslovanju našega mista. Šta se tiče afitavanja soba, iz turističke zajednice govoridu da je cilo lito sve bilo krcato. To mi je drago čut.
Triba reć kako su ove godine boje kurili apartmani nego sobe. Lipo afitaš cilu kuću, jedan put na šetemanu prominiš lancune i Bog te veselija.
Je, lako je tebi iznajmit kuću kad imaš rezervu gori u Poje, u staru kuću.
A šta ti ne spavaš u svoju pojatu, oli u konobu? A-la, tija bi i novce i ovce.
Ma koje ovce, ma koga ti vriđaš, nemoj da ti ja dojden tamo.
Govorin ja, jopet su gospoda boje prošla. Sad je sve na botune, ovi iz Evrope priko tega vražjega interneta unaprid rezerviradu sobe i apartmane u Turističku agenciju. Ja jedva nađen kojega mladega s rusakon, više mi ni cimer fraj ne pomaže. E, di su ona lipa vrimena kad su bar Njemci znali šta je - cimer fraj. Đava in odnija i ti kompjutor, samo troši struju…
Barba prešidente, je li triba reć koliko je ovo lito ko okrenija ženski?
Ajde mulac, daću ti dvi po čunki…
Ja bi napomenija kako su se i dica ove godine lipo uklopila u ovu berbu. Vidija san po rivi, skoro kraj svake kolone, prodajedu - školjke. Lipo i’ složidu u koju škatulicu oli na šudar, sve složiveno ka u muzej. Brbavice, lakirke, kućice, lepeze, a bilo je i volak. I morski’ zvizda! I to crveni’!
Je, vidija san da prodajedu i periske, i još su i napisali da su zakonon zaštićene. Ali govoridu kako su i’ našli već krepane.
Jedan je mulac od pizdic napravija i ogrlicu, naniza i’ na komad špaga. I nudija i muškima, da to nosi sriću za mušku snagu.
Ja mislin kako posebno triba pofalit naše brodare, koliko su samo furešti pribacivali brodican, tamo-amo.
To je. Evo ja san cilo lito vozija goste na dnevno kupanje do Tihe vale i nazad. Potrošija san goriva ka da jeman kamijon.
Kako ja iman veći brod, ja san se orjentira na dnevne izlete, cili dan od zore do sumraka. Malo kupanja, usput vidit koju špilju i na kraju kod Mate na teracu na riblji obid. Samo oborita riba se traži. I jastozi, naravski. Ma, koji put in podvale kojega hlapa, ali se uz crno vino i ne vididu razliku. Kad nas u povratku uvati maeštralun, ionako sve to na kraju opet svrši u more.
A ja san svojon brodicon pravija đite oko cilega otoka, pa sve do Babine guzice, pokaza bi in onu špilju.
Kad smo već kod te ribe, onda su i naši ribari dobro prošli?
Da prošli, radile su tunje, mriže, puške, vrše, parangali, jastožere, a kad zafali ribe - frižideri.
Ajde ti Ive, reci pošteno, koliko si ovega štađuna napravija vina i rakije?
Nisan ja ništa napravija, nemoj vriđat, sve je to prirodno, nima ti kod mene paštroćavat.
Ma to se razumi, nego, koliko si tega učinija, proda?
A, od oni moji mali vinogradi, jedno deset tolitar crnega i ništo bilega. A rakije slabo, jedva trideset-četrdeset litar.
A biće bilo šta i prošeka, an?
E, to je moja špecjalna riceta, prošek se pravi ka u apoteku. Samo dvi tri male demejanice, to prodajen ka likariju…
Tebe sam Marine vidija da bereš masline, a koliko si uja uvatija ove godine?
Šta ja znan, biće, jednu, 500 litar.
I jesi li sve uspija prodat?
E, jesan, i to najviše oviman šta držidu konobe i restorane. A naj mi se više isplati ulit uje u male bočice pa prodavat fureštiman ka suvenir.
Jema Marin prav, ja san u male bočice najviše prodala uja o’ lavande i od zoromoda, oliti ružmarina. Dogodine ću pravit i med o’ ružmarina. A i med i čajeve od kaduje i vriska, sve ekološko, furešti su van ka ludi za sve šta je domaće i zdravo. Mali mi je već nacrta škartoce od karte za čajeve.
Znate šta, previše je bome tih plesnih terac uz manjativu i piće, ne moš zaspat do ujutro, A kad ujutro greš u crikvu, sama Sodoma i Gomora, svugdi ležidu mladi, kako se ono reće, partizani, ne, partijaneri, spavadu po tleju, razdrpani, zgužvani, ne jadan put i popišani.
Pape, kad ja buden velik, tija bi bit - turist. Imat puno love, šetat i gledat okolo, kupat se i ist lipe bokune, a oni oko tebe ti s gitaran pivadu narodne…
Mali, reka san ti, muči i uči!
A vi šjora Kate, jeste li vi šta doprinili našemu mistu i ovogodišnjoj berbi deviza?
Dašta san sinko! Izmolila san ja Slava ocu i Zdravo Marijo po tri puta na dan…
Ajde none, muči, to se ne računa…
A je li, a meni je don Vjeko reka da se računa…
---
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*** Napomena: tekst je preuzet iz tiskanog izdanja Otvorenog mora od ožujka 2020. godine
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18. svibanj 2024 21:43
